and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
