Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
