can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
