What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
