You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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