I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize