Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
