Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
