He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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