We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
