i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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