I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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