I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
