Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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