I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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