yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
