plz talk dirty to me
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize