Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
