her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
