so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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