Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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