I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
