whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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