Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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