My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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