some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
