At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
