try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
