Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
