please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
