i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
