i just wanna soil my oats bro
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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