Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
