How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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