I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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