you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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