Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize