gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
