i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
