i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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