i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
