just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
