I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
