dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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