so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
