only if we run a train.
done.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
