anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
