yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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