Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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