He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
