clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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