Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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