..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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