at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
