I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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