2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize