tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
not ubering you a puppy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
