Will you blow on my dice?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
