Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
