i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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