Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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