I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
