Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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