I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
